Sibling Coffee Roasters owner Libby Powell poses with her brother, Benjamin Withem, outside her West Virginia coffee shop. In her hand is an early photo of the pair — one they are trying to re-create.
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Sibling Coffee Roasters owner Libby Powell poses with her brother, Benjamin Withem, outside her West Virginia coffee shop. In her hand is an early photo of the pair — one they are trying to re-create.
Susana Raab/for NPR
The Science of Siblings is a new series exploring the ways our siblings can influence us, from our money and our mental health all the way down to our very molecules. We’ll be sharing these stories over the next several weeks.
There’s a coffee shop in the historic center of Charles Town, W.Va., where Libby Powell’s family memorabilia hang from the exposed brick walls.
On one shelf, there’s a photo of Libby posing with her towheaded baby brother. A jar of oatmeal-and-butterscotch cookies called Salty Siblings perches by the cash register. An elegant copper roaster parked in the shop’s front bay window churns out the store’s custom blends, including a popular one with Ethiopian beans named after that baby brother: The Benjamin.
, for good or for ill.
Libby Powell was 14 years old and a high school student when her brother, Benjamin, was born.
Susan Raab for NPR
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Susan Raab for NPR
“We have a human need to bond,” she says. “Your friends are going to come and go. But when it’s family, if your sibling is your friend, they’re going to be there forever.”
About 80% of children in the United States grow up with a sibling. It’s a relationship that usually comes with shared experiences of family and childhood — and maybe also shared bedrooms and rivalries. Research about siblings’ influence on our development and psychology is a . But scientific studies show those relationships shape us in myriad ways, seen and unseen. And the impact of those relationships — good or bad — endures well beyond childhood, and beyond.
In adolescence, siblings are very influential when it comes to risk-taking behaviors that can include things or . Even being on good terms with our siblings continues to strongly correlate with our mental and physical well-being, especially during life transitions like a divorce or caring for ailing parents. Late in life, siblings can help support one another to maintain their health and companionship, and recounting shared memories can be .
“That was definitely the most distance we’ve experienced,” he says. And being that far was “almost like hitting the reset button” on their relationship, he says.
Powell found that “reset” difficult and says she felt angry. “I felt those same feelings when James left — when my foster brother left,” she explains. At the same time, her brother had recently married, which meant Powell had to adjust to make room for another important person in his life. “That was hard for me because I’m sharing my little brother, who I thought that I had a little control over.”
Libby Powell says that she and her brother were always close and have hardly ever fought.
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It was the only time they remember any tension existing between them. They had one fight, which culminated with Powell accepting her brother as an adult peer.
“He was taking a stand as an adult for the first time … and I was put exactly where I needed to be put,” Powell recalls, nodding approvingly toward her brother. Benjamin Withem, the more introverted sibling, agrees silently, deferring to her memory.
Through their adult lives, coffee played a big role in keeping them connected. Withem loved good coffee, and Powell says she relied on bad coffee for decades to get her through working overnight shifts as a nurse. He tried roasting beans in his popcorn popper; she eventually began following her younger brother’s lead and upgraded to their current, kitchen-table-size industrial roaster.
Powell discovered she loved the taste of her own freshly roasted beans, as well as the coffee culture and social life that surrounded it.
Powell roasts her own coffee beans at her shop in West Virginia.
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Pierre Kattar/NPR
“I just found that coffee — the way that he would describe it — it wasn’t just a drink, but it was a relationship,” she says.
When she opened Sibling Coffee Roasters five years ago, Powell saw it as a kind of extension of that relationship, a chance to share the warmth and support she associates with siblinghood. She says the shop connects her to the community she’s lived in her whole life, and it gives her an excuse to talk to people about their lives and their troubles.
“I always wanted to feel cared for, and I always have felt that way,” she says, “and I know that there’s just way too many people out there that don’t.”
Powell says the coffee shop is a kind of extension of her relationship with her brother, a chance to share the warmth and support she associates with siblinghood.
Susana Raab for NPR
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Susana Raab for NPR
Powell says the coffee shop is a kind of extension of her relationship with her brother, a chance to share the warmth and support she associates with siblinghood.
Susana Raab for NPR
Sibling Coffee Roasters also reflects the dream that Benjamin Withem will eventually open up another shop as they grow old together.
It’s a sentiment he shares, he says. “I see the name she picked as the open invitation.”
